SNL Cold Open Mocks Hegseth, Kavanaugh, Patel at Dive Bar
Get the Culture newsletter
Daily culture — film, music, books, the trends and ideas worth your attention. Free.
- SNL's May 9 cold open imagined Hegseth (Colin Jost), Kavanaugh (Matt Damon), and Patel (Aziz Ansari) drinking at D.C.'s Martin's Tavern, with the trio bonding over alcohol throughout the sketch
- Kavanaugh bragged about helping dismantle the Voting Rights Act and ending abortion, declaring 'Your body, my choice!' and pulling out a 'new voting district' he had approved in Tennessee that turned out to be a field sobriety test circle
- Hegseth joked he was worried his job would end with the Iran War, comparing it to 'taking a bunch of blue chew and then didn't bang anyone'
- Patel discussed making custom FBI bourbon with his name on it and creating 'a graph of everyone in the FBI who's poly' for his girlfriend's open relationship plans
- The sketch closed with Kavanaugh revealing 'top secret' news that Trump would get a third term because he 'found the original Constitution, and at the end, he wrote, Psych!'
- Matt Damon has now played Kavanaugh on SNL twice — the first being the Season 44 premiere in September 2018, when he parodied Kavanaugh's Senate confirmation testimony
Why it matters: Each punchline tracks a real controversy: the Voting Rights Act ruling Kavanaugh helped deliver, Hegseth's Iran War portfolio, and Patel's custom bourbon bottles the source says he's 'allegedly' handed out. Damon's second Kavanaugh portrayal — the first being his 2018 Senate testimony parody — shows SNL recycling a proven bit to land the same political jabs.
